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Letter "M" » Mitch Hedberg Quotes
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«A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.»
«I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.»
«I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...»
«You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.»
«I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.»
«Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.»
«Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
| About:
Comedy,
silly
| Keywords:
I go, shave, shaved, shaves, shaving, Somebody else
«I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.»
«People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.»
«So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.»
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