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Letter "E" » Eddie Izzard Quotes
(Click a letter to view the authors)
«I am an evil giraffe, and I shall eat more leaves from this tree then prehaps I should, so that other giraffes may die»
«You know, Catholicism, we believed in the teachings of Cathol, and everything it stood for...»
«And they always find in archeology ?a series of small walls.? Every time, a series of small walls. Everywhere you go. ?We?ve found a series of small walls, we?re very excited? I think this proves they had walls in olden days. They were very small, and? a series of small wall people.? And then someone comes along, very learned, with glasses, ?Of course, the king and queen entertained here? 1,500 courtiers, and there were soldiers, 20,000 soldiers in this room, and elephants dancing hopscotch over there? A mad fiddler in this room, playing the banjo, buttocks and aqueducts into a heater?? And you?re just watching, and going, ?You?re making this up, mate! You?re just pointing at a series of small walls, going, ?there, there? Tutankhamen playing banjo in there?? Don?t know if it?s true.?»
Author: Eddie Izzard
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
aqueducts, archeology, banjo, buttocks, courtier, courtiers, elephants, entertained, excited, fiddler, fiddlers, glasses, heater, hopscotch, Kings and Queens, King and Queen, mate, olden, pointing, proves, queen, series, soldiers, There There, the king, Tutankhamen
«So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little na?ve, I feel!»
Author: Eddie Izzard
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
American government, American President, American Presidents, Clinton, lied, native, Native American, President Clinton, surprised, The American President
«So my choice is 'Or Death?'.»
«Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't stand for that, will we?»
«There?s a huge hole in the whole Flood drama, because anything that could float or swim got away scot-free, and it was the idea to wipe out everything, He didn?t say, ?I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole.?»
«You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.»
Author: Eddie Izzard
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
expensive, piss, pissed off, piss off, restaurants, salmon
«Did I leave the gas on? No! No, I'm a fuckin' squirrel!»
«Picasso, he should have been a taxidermist!?I?ve done your dog. It?s got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that???Fido looks a bit weird.?»
Author: Eddie Izzard
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
Fido, Head down, legs, Picasso, square, taxidermist, Weird
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