Someone is out one night, all alone, walking his dog when an alien spaceship flies over and abducts him. He finds himself lying on a table, above him is a large alien fellow explaining his current situation. The gist of it is that young alien larvae are being implanted into his intestines, where they will grow until they are strong enough to survive on their own. Eventually, they will be shat out by way of …showed first 75 words of 576 total…

…showed last 75 words of 576 total…saved from certain doom by one man's suffering. With a ratio of 6,600,000,000:1, this guy knows he is working for the greater good, which is an ethical principle expressed by utilitarianism. His actions would definitely achieve the greatest amount of happiness for the greatest number of people. The world is semi-safe for now, but keep your eye on that silly bastard in The White House, he enjoys spending his time taking away people's rights and privacy.